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Tag Archives: Mental Health

1000 Times I’ve Lived My Death

Headlights pierce the dark

Rain slams upon the pavement

City reflected

***

Stately, gothic bridge

River flowing far below

Cruel rocks gaze up

***

Speed up. See, just there?

That’s the place, jerk the wheel. Fall.

A freed soul: Darkness

***

Brooked in an instant

The vision recedes: Coward

Tha-thump, solid ground

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On Repeat

I am repeated

Within myself-repeated

Tulmult repeated

House of Mirrors

It’s begun again

Descend, yourself, to madness

Feel the rush: free-fall 

***

Soul felt vertigo

Every color mixed to one

Or perhaps it’s none

***

There’s never an end

Spring dawns innumerable

You are the fractal

Don’t Be Nice to Me

You could cut me ’til I bleed,
drain my life away.
It won’t hurt so bad-
Just, don’t be nice to me.
*
You could force me to my knees,
lay me ‘pon a bed of nails,
or burn me at the stake-
Just, don’t be nice to me.
*
You could call me any name,
you could tell me any lie,
say the shameful things I am-
Just, don’t be nice to me.
*
You could turn your back on me,
leave me shirtless in the cold,
watch me freeze to death-
Just, don’t be nice to me.
*
You can beat me,
choke away my breath.
You could even lock me up-
Just, don’t be nice to me.
*
Kindness is a deadly weapon,
there is no defense.
No other pain akin to this.
So please, don’t be nice to me.
*
My head may know the truth,
but my soul has been miswired.
Pain is a relief, and pleasure my agony.
So please, don’t be nice to me.

Demons

There’s a peculiarity of mine,
something so dank, so savage, as to be unspeakable.
A lurid creature lurking in the putrid recesses of my upbringing;
undiscoverable, unphotographable, undiscernable, 
yet terrifyingly palpable.
In all technicality, harmless,
a waking dream of pure terror.
Closer than my shadow,
unriddable parasite of the soul.
The antithesis of joy,
the retribution for passion,
unknowable nemesis and bane of muchness.
Fits of passion flowing out,
unbridled joy, righteous anger, simple love.
The helpless subject of a primal god,
my punishment is swift, sure, severe.
Body and soul wracked together with knowing;
worthless, shameful, disgusting, selfish- rude.
Demon unnameable, showcasing the underside of my soul.