RSS Feed

Tag Archives: Depression

Don’t Be Nice to Me

You could cut me ’til I bleed,
drain my life away.
It won’t hurt so bad-
Just, don’t be nice to me.
*
You could force me to my knees,
lay me ‘pon a bed of nails,
or burn me at the stake-
Just, don’t be nice to me.
*
You could call me any name,
you could tell me any lie,
say the shameful things I am-
Just, don’t be nice to me.
*
You could turn your back on me,
leave me shirtless in the cold,
watch me freeze to death-
Just, don’t be nice to me.
*
You can beat me,
choke away my breath.
You could even lock me up-
Just, don’t be nice to me.
*
Kindness is a deadly weapon,
there is no defense.
No other pain akin to this.
So please, don’t be nice to me.
*
My head may know the truth,
but my soul has been miswired.
Pain is a relief, and pleasure my agony.
So please, don’t be nice to me.
Advertisements

Demons

There’s a peculiarity of mine,
something so dank, so savage, as to be unspeakable.
A lurid creature lurking in the putrid recesses of my upbringing;
undiscoverable, unphotographable, undiscernable, 
yet terrifyingly palpable.
In all technicality, harmless,
a waking dream of pure terror.
Closer than my shadow,
unriddable parasite of the soul.
The antithesis of joy,
the retribution for passion,
unknowable nemesis and bane of muchness.
Fits of passion flowing out,
unbridled joy, righteous anger, simple love.
The helpless subject of a primal god,
my punishment is swift, sure, severe.
Body and soul wracked together with knowing;
worthless, shameful, disgusting, selfish- rude.
Demon unnameable, showcasing the underside of my soul.

Mind Fuck

Oh, how I have miss thee sweet Goddess!

The taste of your kiss is the nectar of life,

The essence of your presence is fine opium,

And the touch of your skin the cruelest bliss!

Why have you been so long gone?

We are so good together, you make me complete.

With you, I am also a goddess, so perfect and cruel.

Invincible I am, when your caress, my body feels.

Your kiss fills me with life.

Iridescent amber sparkles from my soul.

Oh, sweet surrender! Touch me again! Never stop!

The pleasure never ceasing becomes-

All consuming, unbearable and unattainable.

The desire- overpowering, unquenchable and ravenous.

The screams caught in my throat.

The lust possesses by body.

My heart and soul wrenched from within,

Are now only yours.

This is all you were after,

I know it know.

Please! Don’t leave me!

Come, lay with me again.

Let me feel your touch,

And taste your kiss, just one more time.

Take me to heaven once more.

Don’t leave me, alone in this darkness!

It is so cold without your body to warm me,

So dark without your eyes to light me.

So lonely without your presence to own me.

What will I do here, without you?

Impressions

A great darkness, a great abyss,

hopelessness and death.

Colors whirling in my head, then nothing.

Where am I? How did I get here?

I have no memories from before and,

I see no futureshadows.

It is now and only now,

an agony, a torture – no escape,

except….. Death?

A whisper, a call, a longing to be free.

Courage, a gift, a secret strength,

I will fight- the abyss, the darkness.

I stumble, I choke, I fall,

I cannot get up. A heaviness,

my soul is chilled, my heart is cracked.

Sunlight from above, now everywhere.

I cannot see, but I sing, I fly,

I am free….. for now!

Stupid Girl

You’re so stupid, little girl. Did you feel clever when you locked yourself away? Did you think the dark would hide you from the world or save you from its sway?

You’re so stupid, little girl. Did you think that, if you were gone it couldn’t happen to you? Did you think the darkness would save her too?

You’re so stupid, little girl. You’ve been gone so long, you may have missed the worst, but it’s still all wrong.

You’re so stupid, little girl. You’re such a little fool. Won’t you ever learn that all they are is cruel?

You’re so stupid little girl, to think that you are strong. What a foolish hope to keep your whole life long.

You fool! Oh, how I hate you! How long have I wished you dead? And how I long to throw you from my head!

You little fool, such a poor little fool. I should pity you, and what a loathsome fact it is too, that I do.

You useless little idiot. I ache to hurt you. My hands desire to grip your neck. To see the life fly from your eyes and wreck.

You’re so stupid, little girl. Do you even know how lucky you are, to have been huddled away while I got all the scars?

You poor little fool, do you hate me, as much as I hate you? What a dismal fate it is, for us to be one and not two.